Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
