i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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