God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
