Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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