So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
