I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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