spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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