I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
