Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
