Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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