Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
