Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize