She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize