I'm going to jail i love you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
