He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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