i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
