I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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