I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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