Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize