Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize