If that was your dad, he is hot
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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