Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Drunk is a universal language darling
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
