I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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