party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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