dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize