He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
