you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How does it feel to date your dad?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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