This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
