WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
