He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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