you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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