absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
