Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
