apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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