I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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