My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize