I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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