i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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