I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
