I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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