**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
