His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
