I cockslap morals
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
