who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
