If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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