I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
