the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
