She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
