Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
