too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
