Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
