C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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