apparently the secret to your success is patron
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
