I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize