But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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