NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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