in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
