ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
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she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!