just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?