She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
