I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
