Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
