Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Say something about gay babies.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
