were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
