i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
