So drunk, too bad you don't want this
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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