i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
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No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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